Danny was the child of immigrant Italian parents. He was never able to do anything right - not even shovel the driveway. His parents yelled at him about everything. His father was the king of the household, his mother the serving wench. And Danny was nothing.
With a powerful, muscular body, Dan excelled at sports. The coach said he was a natural. It was probably because he avoided being at home, that he spent a lot of his after school hours hanging out, kicking the ball around the soccer field with his friends, or roller blading alone.
Time and time again Danny tried to get his parents to watch him play hockey, soccer or football but they never had the time. They weren’t really interested either. His Mom travelled 2 hours on the bus to work and another two hours home. Besides, how was he going to make a living at sports? He needed to excel in school not sports, were their comments.
Dan began to avoid being at home, all the yelling and arm waiving got on his nerves and he had stomach aches over it. His Mom was tired and depressed most of the time. His Dad had been in a bad mood since he was born. Plus, Dan suspected his Dad was having an affair.
Hanging out with his friends after school, Danny started smoking, then drinking, then he tried a couple of drugs, he was having fun. His buddy brought to school his sister’s cough syrup one day and offered Dan a swig. That’s when Danny became an addict. He’d found his drug of choice.
Double doctoring was what it was called. Danny soon learned how to feign a serious cold so that he could get doctors to prescribe his drug of choice. He went to more than one doctor a day, hoping to get the exact cough medicine he craved.
His life began to take a deep dive. Sleeping in the park 3 or 4 nights a week became the norm - he was too high to go home. His parents worried about him incessantly.They either didn’t know where he was - since he was cutting school repeatedly. When he was home, he was stealing from them and his sisters to buy his drugs.
All the things Dan loved - the soccer, hockey and football - began to fade out of his life. His latest lover took their place. He used drugs frequently to escape the emotional pain, then he drank alcohol to come down. His life became a whirlwind of experimentation with marijuana, then cocaine, then crack and then injecting heroin.
Days quickly passed by, turning into weeks, months and years of his life, always on the hunt, always on the prowl for an opportunity to get more of what he craved.
He was 18 when he first got married to his high school sweetheart and drug partner. Within 5 years they were split up and he was on to his next ‘girl’. This went on for several years, decades, all the while trying to clean up his life.
Danny held jobs down for a while and when he was fired for not showing up, or burnt out and quit, he tried to clean himself up with a 12 step program. This worked for a while. He became a born again Christian for a while, then went back to the familiarity of the Catholic church, but found no solace inside with religion.
He was tormented. He knew he had a problem with the drugs. He knew there was a big hole deep inside that he tried to fill, or escape from, using the drugs.
Finally, Dan managed to stay clean long enough to get a good job and some real friends - the kind that weren’t compelled to share their latest drug experiments. He had worked there for several months, when after a stressful week at the job, several of them went to a local coffee shop to commiserate.
Things turned very real as Sal shared with all of them, how he’d suffered from serious trauma and PTSD after being in a serious car accident. Danny and the others were shocked when Sal explained that his wife and child were killed by a drunk driver. After a decade of anti-depressant drugs and other therapies, Sal finally managed to clear the pain of the past and was remarried.
Danny didn’t pay much heed at the time, but after going three days without sleep, and calling one of his old drug buddies, he realized he was too close to falling off the wagon. Even though he was clean, he still had a serious problem and knew he needed some serious help.
Dan didn’t want to lose the job he had come to love. He looked forward to seeing his new work friends every day. For once in his life, Dan felt like he belonged... He felt like he was contributing and that his colleagues actually listened to his opinions. These people wanted to be around him as much as he wanted to around them.
So he approached Sal in the lunchroom, and asked him how he got over his pain. Sal explained that he’d taken a week to experience an iboga healing retreat and suggested that Danny do the same. Sal was certain that Dan could get to the bottom of his pain with an iboga ceremony.
Danny spoke to his boss and got a week off to have his iboga experience. He was excited but nervous. What if he got ‘hooked’ on it like he did with other drugs? He didn’t want to fall off the wagon - he'd been clean for a couple years. But he took the plunge - he had nothing to lose.
He went ahead and booked an appointment to have a conversation with the retreat facilitator. He was relieved that all his fears and concerns were addressed to his satisfaction. Dan went to the retreat and has never looked back - he's cleared the past and loves his life more every day.
Today, he's in a healthy long term relationship with a woman he adores. He sleeps soundly and isn't tempted by drugs any longer. Danny knows now that using drugs was an attempt to escape from the pain inside.
Now all that pain is gone.
It's in his past and now he looks forward to exciting things in his future. He is completely free of what haunted him for decades.
Whatever haunts you, and just can’t sem to escape it. No matter what you’ve tried, the perhaps an iboga healing experience at one of our retreats may be the solution you’ve been searching for.
After, all, you’re now... reading.
Change your life today. You can. Book a retreat.
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